Enter my madhouse.

I'm a Ghost Hunt addict, HELP!

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 16:39:15 GMT

So awesome hubby that he is, got me the new 5th gen Nano for Christmas. I also got almost $40 in Itunes money.

So what is the first thing I buy? Well Ghost Hunt episodes to watch on my Nano for when I'm waiting around on hubby after work.

Seems stupid since I already own them all on dvd, but well, its GHOST HUNT and one of the few shows I can watch over and over and over again. I've already lost count of the times I've watched it, point in case I finished watching the Urado arc this again this morning and this way I truly can watch it wherever, whenever XD

I need help don't I?

Was also thinking of buying a few InuYasha eps (Own all of that on dvd too) But so hard to pick an episode there are so many good ones. 'Two Hearts, One Mind' might be a winner though.

Its a pity they don't have Kaleido Star up there, I'd for sure buy the ep where Leon pulls Sora down to the trapeze with him and of course the grand finale!

Alli's meme thingy

Sun, 29 Nov 2009 20:01:45 GMT

ganked from EVERYBODY.

You know how sometimes people on your friendslist post about stuff going on in their life, and all of a sudden you think "Wait a minute? Since when were they working THERE? Since when were they dating HIM/HER? Since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know? It happens to all of us sometimes.

Please copy the topics below, erase my answers and put yours in their place, and then post it in your journal! Please elaborate on the questions that would benefit from elaboration. One-Word-Answers seldom help anyone out. (:

1. FIRST NAME: Davina, hubby calls me D.J but hates when other people call me that. Deej, Dee, Dav (ugh I hate that one) are all variations on my name that I get called.

2. AGE: 30, not young but not yet old XD

3. LOCATION: Michigan. But I've only been here for six years, I was born and raised in England.

4. OCCUPATION: Senior Laboratory Technician/Animal Care Supervisor

5. PARTNER: 1 HUBBY-SAMA, we've been married for 8 years and he's SUPER AWESOME!

6. KIDS: Would like them, hopefully we'll have them, but medical conditions may mean it won't happen.

7. Grew up with just one brother, now I have 3 brothers and 4 sisters. My father remarried and had five more kids plus found out he fathered one when he was 16 so that gave me another older half brother. It was weird realizing I'm no longer the oldest.

8. PETS: 2 Female Chocolate Labs. Brandy and Cordy, they are sisters we delivered. Since Hubby's parent's own their parents. 2 kitties. Kyo is a Siamese Tabby, been calling him Chibi Kiba lately, because his fangs hang outside his mouth. He's my little saber tooth tiger. Alto (named after Alto from Macross Frontier, because he's a total hime) is a Russian Blue and a mischeivous little brat! But it is hilarious to watch his hijinks.

9. LIST THE 3-5 BIGGEST THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE:

1) Trying to get pregnant. This has been a huge thing in my life ever since we started trying 3/4 years ago and I miscarried which led to more medical issues which are making getting pregnant again very, very hard and possibly unlikely.

I do well most days, take everything one step at a time and feel really positive. Other days I drown in emoness and drown in the unfairness of it all.

2) There is no 2, number 1 seriously takes the majority of the focus right now and I'm old married and boring so nothing happens anyway! :P

10. PARENTS: Mother is Indian Mauritian and typical of a Indian mother. Which means she's insanely strict, thinks you lose your chastity by being in the same room as someone male and basically no matter what you do, you are never good enough. Oh she is also INSANE!

My father is white English/Scottish. Was a pretty good dad growing up, except his ignore your mothers insanity thing didn't really work and wasnt' much help. Turned out he was a lying, two faced, wanker and peaced out just before I got married and hasn't really kept in contact since.

11. WHO ARE SOME OF YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS?: I won't name them because they know who they are and if they don't. *SMACKS YOU* because you should! Y'all keep me sane and happy, you're the best emotional support I could ask for, you take my craziness in your stride and I love you all for it. You're the best, whether you are here in person or throwing me a cyber hug :)

From bad to worse.

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 15:21:50 GMT

There are days I just feel like I can't continue the fight...

So, I'm four days out of surgery and do feel a lot better now. The first 10 hours sucked ass since all I did was vomit non-stop. Not sure what caused it, perhaps the fact I was under longer than I should have, or perhaps the fact the nurse mixed up the charts and gave me a vicodin I wasn't supposed to have when I woke up.

Throughout this whole ordeal I've tried to think positive, although there are days when all I want to do is cry. I kept thinking before the surgery, oh its just a polyp this'll be fine.

So it wasn't just a polyp. Turns out I have PCOS, endometriosis and Asherman's syndrome.

At the moment, I'm a huge mix of upset, anger, disbelief at the unfairness of it all and just feeling like I might be close to burn out.

The anger stems from the fact the Asherman's (means my uterine walls were sticking together) was more than likely caused by the doctor at U of M being overly aggressive during my d & c when I miscarried. There is really no other cause for the condition. I was never told that a d & c could cause such a condition and the doctor who performed it seemed more interested in making sure she was somewhere at four than my comfort or feelings considering I was losing a baby.

If I had been forewarned this was a possible outcome I would have insisted the doctor go with the original plan which would have been to induce it chemically. Longer and more painful to be sure, but practically no incidence of Asherman's recorded.

Then there is the matter of the endometriosis.

I may have always had it, but it can occur as the result of Asherman's. So its entirely possible that U of M is responsible for TWO of the conditions which have more than likely rendered me infertile. If not both then they are at least responsible for one.

Its hard enough to get pregnant, with endometriosis, but to add Asherman's on top of that?

The doctor separated the walls, and I'm now on estrogen to help them heal. But there is no guarantee they will heal well enough for me to be able to have a baby.

They could heal perfectly, they could stick together again and need separating again, they could heal but with pockets of impefect healing which would stop an egg from implanting.

I don't know how bad the Asherman's was I know my uterus wasn't completely blocked by it so that is promising I guess.

From what hubby understands though the endometriosis WAS BAD! The doctor was apparently only able to clear up one side because the endo was too near my bladder on the other side. In order to do that they would probably need to do a laparotomy. Which sounds worse than it is, really all that means is instead of a small incision I'd have a larger one.

Much longer recovery time though.

The visit before we saw the doctor she had seemed hopefully that we could still try even if she found endo, so we'll see what she says at my appointment friday.

I do know she told hubby woman usually have one of these conditions, I have all three! I expect the young surgeon she had assissting her thought it was his birthday when they got that scope in there.

Thursday for sure, after I'd taken a sip of water and had it come back plus some for the tenth time I wasn't sure I could put myself through this again.

Because if she says we still have a chance and I don't get pregnant I will have to go through this again. The drugs they will give me to suppress the endo would mean I can't get pregnant. So in order to try and conceive I can't take them which means the endo will grow back.

If I don't get preggo then it will eventually need to be removed again.

Course all this is moot if we go in friday and she says, you're way too much of a mess there is no point.

It probably seems stupid to be stressing about this now, after all we could get in there friday and she could be really positive about it. But like a friend pointed out, well if she's getting paid why wouldn't she?

I've been holding in the negative for so long though I think it just finally needs to come to the surface so I can get it all out.

I know everyone means well when they keep telilng me don't worry it'll happen soon.
Or have a friend who got told they would never have kids and now they have 3, well you know what that doesn't make me feel any better. If anything it just makes me more bitter.

I think I'm sick of trying to be positive or being told I should think positive. Why aren't I just allowed to be upset about this for a while?

I'm sure there will be a point where the sun will come out and I won't be so upset about this, but can I just be allowed to be sad for a while? What is wrong with that?

And so the saga my poor body has to go through continues.

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 15:36:44 GMT

So tuesday I had to undergo a HSG (Hysterosalpingogram). I have to say it was a pretty unpleasant experience. Your uterus doesn't appreciate being flooded with dye!

I suppose given some of the horror stories I had read, that I should be thankful it didn't hurt more than it did. Probably because good news we found out both my tubes are nice and clear!

But they did find a endometrial polyp, so now they are scheduling surgery to have it removed. They are hoping that this is the reason I haven't been able to get pregnant. (Other than not ovulating regularly without the use of fertility drugs -_-) .

My stomach hasn't felt right in about a week and I have no doubt its down to the cocktail of pre-natal vitamins, fertility drugs, anti-biotics (they flood your uterus with dye so you have to take them in case of infection, nice right!) 800 motrin's to deal with the cramping pain during and after the proceedure.

Ugh it will be so nice when I no longer have to pop pills daily. But they upped my dose of clomid to four pills a day, which is the maximum dose she will go to. If she doesn't feel its working I guess she will move me to injectables, which is so much more involved.

That will mean way more ultrasounds and me having to inject myself daily. I'm already so tired of being poked and prodded.

I just, think of how sucktastic it would be to put myself through all this and to be childless at the end of it. But still, I wouldn't even have the chance unless I was doing all of this right?

The Mortal Instruments

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:56:38 GMT

OMG hubby picked it up and said I should check it out. Took City of Bones home and devoured it in one night. Made him go back and we got book two, City of Ashes, that has also been devoured.

But the last book is in hardcover, so hopefully he'll be okay with me getting it when we go grocery shopping. Haven't been this addicted to a book series in ages.

It might be a little bit sad that they are young adult books, but eh, whatever. Plenty of adults read Harry Potter and Twilight after all.

And so my follicle did not become happy... :(

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:40:28 GMT

Well that's what I'm assuming since I have the Mother effing cramps from hell and I'm pretty sure this isn't implantation bleeding.

I blame the radio show I listened to this morning, talking about some tennis player who blamed her performance on having her period. These two guys were discussing as to whether or not women exaggerate in order to get out of things.

They concluded that a lot of women do, but its not like they could think of anything they could experience that would be just as painful so that they would know for sure.

I suggest they kick themselves in the jimmy's, whenever it stops hurting, do it again and continue doing that for 4-7 days. Then tell me women exaggerate, right now it feels like an alien is trying to claw its way out of my abdomen.

So this means the beginning of another round of pills and temperature taking and blood draws and invasive ultrasounds and peeing on sticks and having to be injected with HCG.

Now that is another irritation all of its own. So the wonderful people at U of M accepted bids from companies for certain medications. So anything that isn't on the special list I can get from my local pharmacist. Anything else (LIKE THE BLOODY SHOT I WILL NEED AROUND CYCLE DAY 14). I now have to fill in a form, or get the doc's office to call, and then it will be mailed to me -_-

So I have to set up an account, because of course I have to pre-pay, so I have to give some company my credit card details and look for the damn charge. There had better not be any damn Postage and Packing fees!

I have a good follicle!

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 02:39:36 GMT

Well both my arms are bruised from blood work over two days, I've been violated twice over 3 days for ultrasounds. But YAY! FINALLY after our third month of pills and counting days and testing and blood work and being violated (that's how I refer to the internal ultrasounds).

I have a follicle in my left ovary that's a 21!!

When they checked Friday my biggest was a 15 and they look for at least an 18, so they were really happy after today's testing to find a 21.

They gave me my shot of HCG to release it so hubby and I do our part at home and hope and see!

Even if it doesn't pan out, I'm just so excited that we finally got me to have a good cycle, if we can do it once we can do it again and one of these times we have to be successful right?

Gah I'm so excited!

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thu, 21 May 2009 01:57:02 GMT

Sorry, needed to get that scream out and onto the life update, which will be under a lj-cut for the fact itt is an epic long effort.

So I am signed up to a RIDICULOUS number of social networking sites. Twitter, Plurk, Facebook, Myspace and they all equally get neglected, though probably not so much as this poor account.

I'm SORRY LJ!

Actually lately I haven't felt much like posting anything, anywhere. Which had a lot to do with my grandfather passing away. Ahh so many different emotions there.

Sadness that I couldn't be there. I don't have my passport. What sucks is I was actually in the process of getting a new one. The doctors had given him 3-6 months and there he was at death's door barely 2 weeks after that diagnosis. In a way its a good thing his condition developed so quickly. He was already in pain at the end the cancer had progressed so quickly, so at least he didn't suffer a long drawn out battle with it.

But of course that doesn't ease the pain of missing him.

Anger that I had to find out two days after he had passed, because no-one bothered to tell me. I know I'm in another country but WTF people!

Hubby has long held disdain for my family for the fact that just because I now live in the States its like I'm no longer on their radar. Not that it really bothers me all that much. I tried keeping in touch when I first moved, but its hard when you don't get anything back and so I stopped bothering with the vast majority of my family. But still someone could have gotten the info to me a bit sooner than my brother sending me a facebook message two days later. As it was I only really new something was up because my newly found half-brother (more on that later) said he thought things might have taken a turn for the worse.

But Nan and Grandad have always made the effort to keep in touch. Remembering not only my wedding anniversary and birthday, but also hubby's which I think is so sweet of them.

I'm grateful though, that I got to talk to grandad a few months before he died. I got to tell him I loved him and even though he could barely speak he was able to tell me he loved me. I'm lucky that I can still remember his voice and in my memory he is happy, pain free and the incorrigiable joker he's always been. I can still remember his laugh, croaky because of all the years of smoking and drinking whiskey. He was a true Scotsman through and through and I loved to listen to him speak because of his accent.

I remember being the only girl at school who regularly watched the Scottish show Taggart because I was the only one who could understand the accent. Never mind a girl of my age probably shouldn't have been watching such a gruesome detective show as that. But then I've always been ahead of my years.

It brought a smile to my face to remember his humor and his no bullshit attitude. He didn't spout it and he didn't take it. When my mother was being difficult he'd just say. "Listen, the woman's a bloody idiot. Ya a great gurl and I love ya and I'mma proud of yer. Forget whatever she's a sayin, its nonsense."

He LOVED his family and grandad would do anything for his family. I never was sure if he was serious or not about getting the family to kneecap any boy who hurt me. (With some of the friends Grandad keeps you could never quite be sure...)

I miss him, I'm going to miss him for a long time. I wish I could have seen him just one more time, although its probably better that I didn't and I can remember him how he was.

At least I'm more fortunate than David in that I grew up seeing Grandad. David is my older half brother. My dad (or male genetic sponser as I like to refer to him at the moment) fathered him when I was 16. Although he did at least get to meet Grandad before he died.

I've known about his existence for a little while now, but he got into contact with me, oh I'd say about a month, month and half now maybe?

It's certainly been a odd experience, although I have to say not a bad one, afterall I gained a big brother.

We probably chat more than I do with my little brother who I grew up with!

I guess we're just getting to know each other really, but he seems like a really awesome guy and it sounds like he has a terrific family. He totally has the Jeffrey sense of humor and we seem to have quite a bit in common. It will be nice to meet him one day.

I have to admit it was a bit of a strange feeling to realize I'm no longer the oldest, after all that's been my role in our insane family until now. But hey it means all the pressure is finally off of me! Pity he couldn't have turned up while I was in school -_-

Sadly through talking together we accidently discovered my father has lied to him at least once already. I tried really hard to not get angry when I called nan and grandad and my little brother was pestering me to talk to dad. I had to reiterate the lack of communication was from his end not mine. Last I had heard my father was planning to talk to me once the divorce from my mother was through. That was about 2 years ago now at least and of course I've still heard nothing.

Then my brother spouted something about something I might have written in a letter badmouthing his current wife and maybe dad was annoyed about that.

So I had to point out, it was funny that my dad kept coming up with excuse after excuse not to talk to me.

How we really got to the point I don't know. Its not like we ever had a big fight and yelled to each other 'I'm never speaking to you again!'

He moved in with the woman he'd been cheating on my mother with for over a year and then my brother and I hardly saw him. Then I got married and I basically never heard from him again. First off he didn't want to give out details of where he was living in case of my mother wanting to come round and hurt them.

Then that became a non-issue when they moved out of the area. Then it became a matter of waiting until the divorce was through because he didn't want me to get any trouble from my mother. Although I don't understand what difference a piece of paper makes. I'd get grief for being in contact with him whether they were divorced or not, so it was a flimsy excuse.

So that excuse no longer held water, since the divorce came through and now I get some cock and bull story about him being mad about something I probably wrote 6 years ago.

I have basically come to the conclusion my male genetic sponser is just as bad as my female genetic sponser. He may not be physically or mentally abusive like she can be. But the man is incapable of telling the truth and acts like a child.

I can only assume he really is angry and me for something, or really its misplaced anger at himself and he feels guilty about something and so can't face me.

I wonder if its for the fact he treated me horribly when he was still married to mother and cheating because I basically called him on his odd behaviour and figured out what was going on. I want to say our relationship hasn't been the same since the day I refused to leave the phone off of the hook so my mother would think I was on the internet and therefore wouldn't be able to call home while she was on vacation and wonder where my father was at 2 in the morning.

My dad had always been a jovial man, but after that he was short tempered and downright rude to me. Once he finally moved in with the woman his attitude got better but then the longest we probably spent in each other's company after that was the drive to airport when I left to get married.

Perhaps the whole reason he won't talk to me is because he can't face me.

Either way everyone has been told to stop pestering me about it. When the man finally figures out what his malfunction is, he knows where to find me, or who to ask about how to get a hold of me. Same goes for my mother who sent back the birthday card I sent, so whatever.

As for the baby making saga, it is still ongoing, but we at least seem to be making more progress now my PCP has given into my badgering and sent me to see a reproductive endocrinologist, since I pretty much determined my problem was a hormonal issue.

So thankfully we aren't back to the metformin which seriously screwed with my blood sugar. But we are back to the clomid. But this time its being monitored a lot more closely.

My first cycle went great, except I ovulated later than they expected. This second cycle looks like I didn't ovulate at all, despite an increase in the clomid dose.

So what she thinks is going on, is that my ovaries are ignoring the signal from my pituitary gland which tells them to ovulate.

So round three, more clomid and probably an injection to stimulate teh deaf ovaries. She seems confident everything will work out. I was pretty optimistic myself at first, but now I find myself wondering if we'll ever be successful.

Again I lament the fact that when my parents were producing me, I got the short end of the genetic spectrum stick.

I guess I'm lucky that so far I haven't had any really, serious side effects. Although being off of birth control and not getting those regular female hormones that my body isn't producing because of my stupid ovaries ignoring signals, has led to my hair getting even thinner and now my unblemished skin normally has spots because of all the hormonal up and downs.

So really not all that bad, although the sooner I get pregnant and have the baby, the sooner we can stop the hair from thinning. Really its never bothered me all that much, despite my mother constantly always harping on about how bad it looks, but lately it really has started to get to me.

Its amazing how much of our identity is tied up in our hair and so that is where I'm at for right now. Would everyone still love me if I were bald?

Work is meh, so I'm not even going to go into that. Cept my wellness check went well, apart from low HDL so they set me up with a nutrition coach to help raise that.

Summer and walking the dogs regularly will help with that.

And that is where I'm at people, sad about my grandfather, angry at my father, anxious about my hair and worried I'll never get pregnant.

Of course the last thing on that list could be down to stress now couldn't it...

Battlestar Galactica Finale

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 04:18:53 GMT

What can I say except FRAKKING EPIC!

I absolutely HATED the idea of this show when it first came out. I thought it was destroying one of my favorite shows from childhood.

I could forgive them for no Moffet, I mean after all we really didn't want the stupid robotic dog back, he was never as cool as K-9 anyway. But I was like OMG they made Starbuck a woman and Apollo a giant sack of wuss.

Episode by episode it grew on me, with its fantastic writing and even more wonderful acting. It was thought provoking, intelligent, funny at times, shocking, graphic, emotional. It's just everything you could ask for in a show.

Those characters have come so far from where they've started, their journey has been long and painful but they finally made it to where they needed to be. It wasn't a joyous ending for all, for some it was very bittersweet but BSG has never been one to sugarcoat shit and play happy.

Though I was a little disappointed with the ending for Starbuck and Apollo :(

So long BSG, you were one hell of a ride, apart from anime and Stargate re-runs there isn't really anything to watch on sci fi now you're gone :(

Well I'll reserve judgement on the new Stargate show until I've seen it... XD

OMG can we get the sage of Konohagakure over already?

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:45:23 GMT

I haven't yet done my blog post on the latest chapter so I thought I'd get some of my rant on here.

I DON'T CARE WHAT KONOHAMARU IS DOING!!!! I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT JUTSU NARUTO TAUGHT HIM!

What I would like to see is the boring as hell sage training over and done with and I would really like to know the fate of my beloved Kakashi-sensei.

The chapter was nice in the sense I liked that we got to see how the villagers have changed their view of Naruto, much as the sand villagers changed their view of Gaara.

But what is with the Konohamaru crap? If its more of how we must trust our future to the young, well Tsunade already covered that. SO I DON'T NEED TO HEAR IT AGAIN!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Long time no see!

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 16:33:35 GMT

It occurs to me that is has been forever since I posted. I wish that I could say its because I've been busy being creative, but alas I have just been plain tired. Where the hell did my vacation go?

Its amazing how they hired minions to take on some of my work and yet, I seem to be busier than ever. But I guess that is the bane of being somewhat important I guess. In reality its more that they only half ass crap and I have to either track them down and make sure they do it properly. Or I have to sit down and write out detailed instructions for things they should already know need doing without being told. Or I just go do it myself on top of other more important things I have to do.

Sigh.

I have decided not to worry about what didn't get done in my absence, I'll fix it when I get back. Can I have a vacation from my vacation?

I hope you all had a happy turkey day! All I can say about that is MOO :p

The food all came out great and there was some tension between family members, but all in all it went down pretty well. We got mom and dad to sit down and watch Iron Man they both loved it ^-^

I finally got caught up on Skip Beat, just Toradora and Hakushaku to yousei to go. So behind on blog stuff, but after work and fixing dinner and cleaning up I've not wanted to do much except sit down and watch t.v.

Its probably why I waited for Gundam 00 to come on sci fi, I enjoy watching anime from the comfort of my couch so much better than I do sitting at my computer. Its also just easier to watch it streamed. I hate downloading anymore, although I guess at least if I downloaded it we could stream it from the comp to the xbox 360 and watch it on the huge plasma. I enjoyed watching Macross Frontier that way.

Gah I am bursting with creative shit I want to do if only the apathetic side of my brain wasn't winning right now.

(This ramble brought to you by Sakura)

What I want to be when I grow up!

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 02:43:47 GMT

Happy!

And that is pretty much it.

Of course the hard part is figuring out what makes you happy.

For some of my friends it was finding jobs that made them lots of money.

I've never really cared too much about that kind of thing, money after all, can't wrap its arms around you at night and it can't wipe away your tears when you are sad.

A lot of people told me I needed god in my life. If I hadn't reached my goal of happiness, I'd probably agree. Or then again maybe not. Given what I've experienced in life, I'm a firm believer in changing life for yourself.

If you're unhappy with what's going on in your life then do something about it. Sitting around waiting for god to do something for you isn't going to get you very far.

Of course he/she may throw something on your way to get you on the track to happiness, who knows. Some would say if god is doing his/her job then you'll never know he/she intervened at all.

I've often wondered if I'm weird for not really having aspirations in life. Maybe its because for most of it, particularly at home I was usually doing my best to be as inconspicuous as possible. The less visible you were the better.

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact I worked for so long towards keeping my mother off my back I never once gave thought to what I actually might like to do in life.

Or maybe its just that I don't care as long as I'm happy. My job isn't the most exciting in the world, but its a living which means I can be sort of comfortable.

I don't hate it, I just don't really care either way. Its a ball of stress at times but I love a lot of the people I work with.

I know working it means hubby is less stressful whenever I get a pay rise XD and that makes me happy.

It should be scary, to have so much of what makes me happy centered around one person.

And in the beginning I will say the idea of that did scare me.

Especially when you know my mother and how her inability to let go of her feelings for my father, still rules her life to this day.

I remember back when we were getting together how I gave hubby this long speech about how I didn't want to lose my independence or my identity when we got married.

For so long I'd had to depend on myself for my happiness, I was a little reluctant to let someone else help me with that.

And pretty soon in I realized I shouldn't have been scared at all.

Because I've never in my life been happier. Sure there are sucky days, but in the core of my being, I'm happy.

Not sure if that means I'm a grown up yet though XD

Is it wrong to have your happiness all centered around one person? I don't think so, in the end if it makes you happy then that's okay.

Its okay to have someone know you so completely that they know what you need with just a look in your eyes.

Its okay to get warm, tingly feelings when he pulls you close every night and hugs you to sleep.

Its okay to giggle when he tickles you on purpose just to make you squeak, because he likes to hear it.

Its okay to walk around with a stupid grin on your face just because he sent you a message at work.

What am I really saying? I guess what I'm saying is that for some being happy is having grand dreams of flying to the moon, or sailing across the ocean.

But for others being happy is simply being in someones arms. Or that long, slow kiss.

You know the one. The one that ignites that burning feeling deep in your gut that turns into a roaring fire. That sometimes leads to making love, and other times it just leads to hot, hot sex.

And you know what, that might mean not winning any awards, or the world not knowing your name.

But as long as you're happy. There ain't a damn thing wrong with that.

Ghost Hunt Dub

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:47:56 GMT

Soooooo Funi has the first 3 eps of the dub up on their site for you to watch...

I've gotten half way through the first ep (I have a MF 24 post to finish for the blog)and I'm not going to be a anime snob and say I hate it just yet...

I'm gonna watch more and give it the benefit of the doubt, buuuuuut so far I really don't like Mai's voice and its just so weird hearing Watanuki's voice coming out of Naru.

My poor Naru no longer sounds smexy!!!!! (Cries)

But I'll watch the rest I'm sure it'll get better right?

I suppose its a good thing I won't be able to get the boxset as soon as it comes out. I gotta spend $300 to get a crown on one of my teeth, which means less money spent on entertainment type things.

Scream with me people arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Meme time!

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 20:32:21 GMT

Tagged by callais

1. What are your nicknames?
Soooooo many, D, D.J, Dav, Veena, Peanut. The rest are highly embarrassing and so shall not be spoken of...

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Cleans teeth! Gets prepped for the next day. Writes blog posts, chats to buddies, reads manga, watches anime, glomps Hubby-sama.

3. What fandom(s) are you most into at the moment?
Macross Frontier, Naruto.

4. What is the color of the shirt you are wearing right now?
Black

5. What's your normal bedtime?
11 p.m to 5 a.m usually.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Hmm both, I enjoy loving but its nice to be loved in return ^-^

7. Do you trust easily?
I'm probably too trusting...

8. If the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do?
Hmm well that has never really happened, I guess I'd try to be happy for them and move on.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
They killed Michel-kun!!!!!!! But in all honesty I've been pretty good lately. I get a little upset some days that this thing with my ovulating won't get fixed. But I guess if its meant to be it will right?

10. Do you have a good body-image?
Haha absolutely not! But then again my mother pretty much told me I was horrible to look at ever since I can remember, so its no wonder I have zero self esteem. I now realize looking back at pictures where I was skinny as a rake and was told I looked as huge as an Elephant that they were complete and utter lies, and abusing me was a mechanism for making herself feel better.

But Hubby-sama says I'm cute and loves me the way I am, so while I don't think I look all that great, I'm okay with it.

11. Is being tagged fun?
Um I guess?

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Our group Blog, anime news network, F.F.net (I'm a story reading whore), BBC News,I should visit this place more often and I probably look something up on wiki at least once a day and use googlesearch.

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Hubby-sama! And my RL and Online friends. Syl, Riex, Seanakin, Whitey, youse all ROCK!

Special shot out to loveofanime awesomest beta ever! And pretty darned awesome friend to boot!

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Syl is cute, smart, sassy, sarcy all wrapped up in a package of total awesomeness.

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
Katy Perry, I kissed a girl and the new MF opening Lion.

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My red hooded sweater.

17. What's better: to give or to receive?
Giving, it makes me happy when they get all happy and I have total fun picking stuff out I think they'll like.

18. What would you do if you see $100 lying on the ground?
Keep it, I mean there's no way of knowing who it belongs to right?

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
My computer, my nano (hugs it close, would die of boredom without my music) and my notebook.

20. What should you be doing right now?
cleaning, but theres no point til the other dogs go home.</lj>

Macross Frontier 20 - WHY? WHY????

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 23:48:12 GMT

So, I watched Macross Frontier 20. Sheryl is fracking awesome the whole episode is awesome and to be fair I had an inkling this was coming.

But why couldn't it have been Luca? *cries*

Cut for spoilers So they killed my pretty, pretty Michel-kun!!!!! Why? Why? Why? couldn't it have been someone pointless or useless like Luca or Nanase?

And as if that wasn't bad enough I found out that Kurz from FMP is missing presumed dead!

Another blonde, pretty lady-killer of a sniper, why the hate for snipers?

sigh, now instead of gratuitous Mikhail shot of the week at the blog, It'll have to be tribute shot of the week.

At least Klan got her dayto and kissu, its all my fault too *cries* I knew I shouldn't have used pineapple pudding and Michel-kun in the same sentence in the last blog post. *sobs*

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 03:18:06 GMT

I got this from yamikakyuu

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Macross Frontier 13

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:43:27 GMT

Wow, oh wow oh wow!

Actually I'm more excited about next week considering we get space battles. So I'll get to see lots of pretty VF-25's in action.

I'm very happy that Sheryl is the the back of Michel's since that guarantees his survival. We can't have a love triangle if his craft goes boom after all.

And OMG is Alto hawt. Best girl fanservice, episode EVER.

http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Macross/Macross%20Frontier%20-%2013%20-%20Large%2010.jpg

http://randomc.animeblogger.net/image/Macross/Macross%20Frontier%20-%2013%20-%20Large%2008.jpg

And Brera ain't half bad either

I LOVE this show. It made me feel so much better after a week of battling low blood sugar. I'm hoping the extra long weekend will help stablize it before I go back to work monday where it sure to drop again.

Funimation Annouces Ouran Cast

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 15:42:01 GMT

Check it out --> http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2008-07-04/funimation-announces-ouran-high-school-host-club-cast

I love Funi. They'll be releasing Ghost Hunt, not to mention they got Saiunkoku Monogatari and Hellsing Ultimate from Geneon YAY!

Macross Frontier 12 (beware of spoilers)

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 17:27:54 GMT

So I'm addicted to this enough, that I watched the raw for 12 last night. And I wasn't disappointed. It was worth it alone for the Zentradi who got a nosebleed after Ranka's cute pose ^-^

Well that and I got to see lots of nice shot of Michel's pretty, pretty VF-25G (Wants a figure of it so badly) Of course I also want the $125 Arbalest from FMP that's coming out.

Sheryl X Alto fans might be disappointed though, but its hard to hate Ranka for hogging Alto since she was so damned cute in the episode.

I had to feel bad for Sheryl though, out on the sidelines whilst Ranka gets to sing her heart out to the masses and go on a flight for two with Alto-hime. (OMG those two blushing is just too damned adorable!)

I am confused by the end of the episode though, since they come across what looks to be a Macross ship. The SDF-1 is supposedly back on earth right? And the lost SDF-2 Megaroad 01 can't transform... Hmm...

Next week Alto-hime with no shirt YAY!

Viva la vida

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 02:20:12 GMT

Its AWESOME!!!!!!!

I have the best Hubby-sama ever!

I was stuck at home today, dying with the most god awful cold. I seem to be hitting the worst of mine just as Hubby seems to be getting over his.

I dragged my sorry ass into work yesterday, because my boss is out and I was the only other supervisor available, and because I'm stupid. Considering I was still recovering from a fever of a 100.

I had been planning on going into to work today, but Hubby-sama said he'd just wait until my back was turned and he'd run to the jeep and leave me. So then I would pretty much have no choice in the matter I'd be stuck at home.

Since my nose was at the leaking like a tap stage and my fever still hadn't quite broken at 6 this morning and the fact I went through a box of tissues in about an hour. I didn't fight him, I stayed home.

My nose feels like someone took a sander to it and it looks like Rudolphs . Every time I cough my eyes water and I look like I've been bawling. My ears unblock for about 30 seconds every time I swallow. My head is so stuffed up it feels like a lead balloon.

Stupid me is thinking of going in tomorrow, I think I'm probably a masochist.

But onto why hubby is so great. He brought home more dayquil, more nyquil, 3 different types of REALLY soft tissue. I love the stuff infused with vicks btw, I can breathe! I can breathe!

And... YES HE BOUGHT VIVA LA VIDA for me. I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM! I just wish I could kiss him, but he was miserable enough with this cold last week, I don't want to give it back to him.

Needless to say, BEST HUBBY EVER!

InuYasha penultimate chapter!

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 21:58:54 GMT

InuYasha is almost over

Eep OMG after almost 11 years its nearly over. There was more fluff this week and next week we'll have moved 3 years into the future.

I can't wait to find out what has happened!

SQUEEEEEE

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 03:30:16 GMT

Okay first off InuYasha fans, read chapter 556. Major Squee! "Kagome was born so that she could meet me. And I too.. for Kagome's sake.

AND LORD STANLEY IS OURS!!!!!!!!!!! THE BOYS FINALLY CLINCHED IT! YEAH RED WINGS!!!!

Sasuke is a douchebag

Fri, 30 May 2008 10:23:19 GMT

The link to my blog post, oh my ---> http://calamitousintents.wordpress.com/2008/05/30/58/#more-58

Yes that's why I haven't been around of late. I joined a blog group!

YAY For Indiana Jones!

Sat, 24 May 2008 20:49:42 GMT

Well, he's older, but he's still got it. I'll cut for those who haven't seen it and don't want to be spoiled.

Hubby-sama and I went to see Indiana Jones today. And I did so much smiling during the movie.

Ford and Lebeouf had good rapport. But it really started to feel like an Indiana Jones movie when Harrison Ford and Karen Allen were in scenes together.

It felt a little bit out of sorts given the time period. Which is probably why they spent so long getting you used to the fact.

But it very much had the feel of the older ones and well I for one enjoyed it!

The otherworldly element didn't seem too far of a stretch for an Indiana Jones movie. For those who are complaining about it. Your going to say Aliens are weird, but a gold box that melts Nazi's (aka The Ark Of The Covenant) isn't?

In fact I will say the Alien element fit better than the swinging with the monkeys scene. Sorry it was just lame.

For those of you bitching about how the sets looked weird and they should have used more effects. Have you even watched the original movies? That's how they looked too. If they'd have relied on lots of effects, you'd be bitching about how out of place this movie looked compared to the old ones.

This looked and felt like an Indiana Jones movie. It didn't blow me away but I had a great time watching some old friends. Well worth the money,time and effort.

GO SEE IT!

Awwwww poor Itachi

Sat, 10 May 2008 09:47:20 GMT

And so the truth finally starts to trickle out.

Itachi was put in a horrible, horrible position. Poor guy!